The pocket thief of time

My names Harriet and I’m addicted to my phone. I try so hard not to be but there’s just something that I’m obsessed with. Is it the loneliness of motherhood creeping in, the feeling of escaping, or was it created so that everyone was obsessed with them? Maybe it’s all of them.

I notice that the more time I spend on my phone, the worse I feel. I’ll begin to feel iffy within myself and I’ll also feel bad as a parent because I didn’t realise how sucked in I was. Lately I removed the social media apps. I still want my Instagram so I took a little break and decided to download the app when I wanted to create a post, then delete afterwards. I have no self restraint. I wish I did.

Don’t get me wrong, I find my phone so helpful. I can quickly search up the information I need to know, I can find wonderful places to visit and I can speak to people. Something I do desperately need to do. Would I need to make friends and speak to them on the internet though if everybody wasn’t in their own digital world? If people looked up and spoke to each other? I don’t think the world would be as lonely.

We weren’t made to be in this world though. We were supposed to grow our own food, swap with neighbours and communicate. We weren’t supposed to live in a box, stare at boxes all day and be confined. Do you ever feel like you’re in a zoo? Surrounded by wild animals but you feel safe from them in your box. The only problem is that the whole world is peeping in, looking in from the outside. I often feel that way and I only have myself to blame.

I am actively trying to reduce my screen time. I want to keep my Instagram as it’s my income but I don’t want to spend so long on my phone. I need to find a good balance, but how does that work when they created these things so addictive that the world looks like it’s absorbed into a screen? School communicates via apps, they send homework through apps. Bills and important letters now come via email. Friends no longer speak on phone calls or want to meet up because they think an online message is sufficient.

I’m incredibly strict on the children’s screen time. My eldest now questions why it’s okay for me to be on my phone but he can’t have as much screen time as he wants. He thinks I’m being cruel but really, it’s because I don’t want him to end up like me. I don’t want him sucked into this crazy world.

I love taking photos and videos and phones are so convenient for that. It’s meant I have thousands of memories captured of the children. Sometimes I look back and it reignites the memories I had lost and being a back the emotions and feelings of that moment. I love my phone for that. One day I hope I can have maximum 30 minutes a day screen time. I think that’s pretty sufficient. I’d probably get so much more done and achieve so much more.

So there you have it. My names Harriet and I’m addicted to my phone. are you addicted to yours?