Cloth nappies –
People think you’re disgusting, you’re being a cheap skate because you won’t pay for disposable ones. You just enjoy cleaning poo. What a hippy.
In fact you’re doing amazing, you’re helping towards saving the planet and teaching your child about that too.
Disposable nappies –
You’re lazy because you can’t be bothered with the extra washing. You’re the reason there’s landfills full of nappies damaging the planet.
Actually you’re amazing too, you’re saving water by not washing cloth nappies all the time.
You’re disgusting, you just want people to see your boobs. You’re damaging your baby by being too sexual.
Well that’s ridiculous, you’re giving your baby milk which your body is making specifically to suit the needs of your child. You’re putting in lots of hard work and lots of effort.
Bottle feeding –
You’re a useless mother, you can’t even do what God intended you to do for your child. Your baby will always be sick now because you didn’t give your baby those nutrients. You’ll never have a good bond with your baby.
You’re doing the best you can. You stay up late washing and sterilising bottles, it takes ages! You’re confused by all the different advice, fresh? Put them in the fridge? Leave them out? Once your babies old enough they could hold their own bottle which could mean you have time to do something freeing up more time to play.
You co-sleep –
You’re a stupid person and you’re going to kill your child.
Well in fact studies show that it reduces the risk of SIDS. You might be doing it for that reason, for extra closeness to your baby or because they won’t sleep any other way. You’re doing great and probably getting kicked in the face with little feet because of it.
Your baby sleeps in their own room-
You’re also stupid, how can you leave your child alone? You never know what could happen to your child when you’re not there.
You might all sleep better which means you’re more up beat the next day. You’re teaching your child independence.
You baby wear –
What a hippy. What if you fall you could hurt your child, your child might fall out of the carrier. You’re so stupid.
Actually you have a rewarding amount of closeness and studies show that children can thrive when happily close to their parent.
You use a pram –
You’re so lazy you don’t want to be around your child.
You’re doing great. Your child loves the independence and can have a good luck around.
You use reigns –
You’re treating your child like a dog. If you treat your child like an animal then they will start to behave like one.
Actually your child loves to be adventurous whilst still being restricted and safe.
You baby led wean –
That’s disgusting, there’s food everywhere and you look so scruffy. I bet you’re house is covered in food. You’re baby might choke and if they choose to not to eat certain things then they aren’t getting enough nourishment.
You’re teaching your child about choices, different textures and flavours. You’re child is learning so much through being able to explore this.
You use baby jars/pouches –
That’s disgusting, you’re so lazy you can’t even make your own food for your child. They will turn out to be naughty children.
You’re giving your child food which has the right amount of ingredients in for a nourishing meal. You have the extra time to spend with your baby.
You’re a stay at home mum –
You’re so lazy, you just want to scrounge benefits. I bet you sit at home all day watching Jeremy Kyle about people like yourself. You had your child to claim my hard earning money which I work for. You’re a terrible person.
You get to see all your child’s firsts, you have so much fun and have so many precious memories through this time you get to spend together. You’re doing a great job.
You’re a working mum-
You are missing out on everything in their lives. You shouldn’t have children if you’re just going to leave them all day. You’re a terrible person.
Actually you’re working so hard to provide for you’re family and every single moment you get to spend with your child out of work is extra special. You’re doing a great job.
You delivered vaginally –
You risked your child by giving birth this way. You only did it to look good in front of people.
You delivered by c section –
You’re so lazy, you think you’re too posh to push. You took the easy way out.
You had no pain relief –
You’re weird, you just like pain you must be sick.
You had pain relief –
You’re lazy you took the easy way out.
It doesn’t matter which way you did it. The baby is here and that’s what matters. You carried a child for nine months. That’s the bigger achievement. You’re going to be a fab mum.
There’s millions more different ways of doing things. Everyone parents differently. If you believe in equal opportunities then you should believe in equal parenting.
Everyone has a different way and everyone is doing their best.
Written by me – inspired by idiots 😊