Every night I go to bed and I think about all the times I’ve shouted at the toddler. Sighed when the baby cried again. Sat on my phone. Past time by letting the toddler watch TV. Each night I get upset, kiss them goodnight and tell them I’ll do better tomorrow. Sometimes I think in my head of all the ways I’ll do better.
I’ll make sure the house is spotless, we can go to the park, we will paint a picture, we will play all day, I won’t even look at my phone, lunch and dinner will be full of healthy options.
I wake up in the morning and I’m so exhausted again. I feel even more tired than I did the night before. I keep telling myself to do all the things I promised I would and the day goes so quickly, the baby doesn’t want to leave my side. I haven’t achieved anything and I feel guilty yet again like I’ve neglected my toddler.
Then I tell myself. STOP!
Stop putting yourself down
Stop with the negative
You’re doing your best. You’re doing a great job.
I turn these negative thoughts around. I tell myself this.
You’re going through a rough patch. It will pass.
The children are full of love. I couldn’t love them more if I tried. No matter how much I want to stay in bed, I don’t. I get up every day and I care for them both. I ensure they are fed no matter what it is. I cuddle them on the sofa and watch children’s TV even though it gives me a headache and I’d rather watch a series. I put them first even though I want to break down and cry.
Life as a parent is so hard. Sometimes people hit rock bottom and it doesn’t matter if you’re no longer the parent you used to be. What matters is that you’re trying your best. You’re children love you no matter what. It doesn’t matter if your house is a mess and if you’re wearing the same pyjamas. It doesn’t matter that you haven’t done an activity today or if you feel like a bad mum. To your children you’re all they know. They love you for you. You’re their mum, their guardian angel, the person they look up to.