So with my first child I had such a traumatic birth after longing for a midwife led unit, battery candles, relaxing music, a birth pool and a wonderful hypnobirth I instead received an induction, medical staff running around the room shouting they were losing us and being told they’d lost some instrument and it could be inside me. Well, it went far from my perfectly thought through birth plan. I was left traumatised and in shock. 2 years on and I still haven’t quite got over it. So I opted for a caesarian with my second baby. (Judge away, I’m not too push to push it’s definitely not a walk in the park). I couldn’t bare the thought of worrying during labour whether the same complications would happen, if I’d have medical staff shouting that my baby would die above a loud ringing noise and the sound of panic and the look of fear on their faces. I then heard all about a natural caesarean when they drop the curtain and you watch the baby come out by itself once the surgeon has opened you up and got the baby’s head out. There are lots of benefits so I opted for it straight away. Everyone was happy to oblige and the only downfall was that the procedure couldn’t be filmed or photographed like you see online. So here’s how my day went.
7am – I had some fruit and a bacon sandwich – I wanted something healthy in my system but if this is the last bit of food then I also wanted something tasty. I got ready and folded away some baby clothes.
7:45am – I dropped my son off at my friends. I was so nervous as I never leave him but he didn’t even care about being left. This was the last time he would receive a cuddle as an only child. I felt a bit guilt as if I’d taken away his precious mummy and son time.
8:30am – my friend arrived to take us to the hospital. I was so nervous I felt sick.
9am – arriving at the hospital. Admitted to my bed for the duration of the stay and asked to wait after a few checks of blood pressure and seeing how baby was on the monitor.
This time is where I could no longer eat or drink. It was so hot and was becoming really dizzy. My section was supposed to be at 1pm but I was told time and time again there had been another delay. I didn’t mind – emergencies came first.
16:30- I was told my friend couldn’t stay. This made me more nervous and by this point I was hormonal, dehydrated, hungry and burst into tears. I went down to theatre with my baby’s father petrified.
I have no recollection of time during this process but here’s what I can remember.
I had a few things attached to me to keep me monitored. I was shaking and crying with nerves. I felt so poorly and dizzy by this point too. I then had the anethesia injection to numb everywhere below my back. I laid on a hard table completely flat excited to meet my baby but also very scared. This is where all the pros and cons started going through my head. Before now I’d never really thought of the cons. Connor played some music whilst I concentrated on breathing. I was a little zoned out. I started becoming really poorly. I couldn’t focus and was trying to be sick with nothing coming out. I’d waited for this day and researched everything with such excitement and was left devestated it wasn’t going to plan. Once my baby had her head out someone helped to prop me up to see. I remember being speechless, it was so quick and blurry that I try to remember but I can’t.
Alia Eve was born at 17:07 weighing 8lb1oz. I couldn’t really see her at first. A midwife kept putting my hair down by my face and I just wanted it behind me out of the way, it was also being ripped out of my head with people leaning on me so I got a bit worked up as I felt so claustrophobic.
Once finally out of theatre I got to hold my baby and feed her. Everything had been such a daze and I really wanted this amazing experience. Unfortunately with becoming so poorly I never got the chance for this amazing experience and can hardly remember. All I know is that I had a healthy baby and was told my surgery went well. She made it into the world and that’s all that matters.
Now, if I was to have another baby I’m not sure which option I’d go with. The labour was so traumatic but once Luca arrived and I was home I could move around and was driving the next day (not advisable but I did manage). The caesarean wasn’t traumatic but it was uncomfortable and for weeks I was in agony not being able to move, screaming in pain and now I’m still a bit sore 3 months later.
It’s hard and it’s scary having a baby whichever way you do it and I think that the choices you make should never be judged and be your choice to birth your child the way you wish.